Hope does NOT disappoint us

"...And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

5 weeks ago...I found a lump in my left breast, by accident. I thought about what or If I should do anything. But Daniel assured me I should go to have it examined. And so I called to set up my appt. Shortly after I went to the SOZO conference...where God told me He was going to send someone to pray for my healing for it. But I knew it would be someone I did not know, because I had not told anyone. So I knew if it happened, God really spoke to me, and meant what He said. Alas, the conference was coming to an end and we were in the line to leave, when a man came up to me and told me He felt like He was supposed to pray for me- for my healing!! Wow. Ok, God..So he did. I told him what God had spoke to me, he said he felt like he was supposed to all weekend but had not had the chance.
I was in awe of God.

So I came home and waited for my appointment. Time seemed to crawl by...but it finally came. To sum it up quickly, we waited another week for the ultrasound, another week for the appt with the surgeon, but then that appt got canceled, so waited another day. Through all of it....I just felt a peace that truly surpassed allllll understanding. It was hard to see the fear in my husband's eyes for me and my sister's. Out of their love for me they were afraid. But I wanted to be strong. I did not want to fall apart with anxiety and fear, worries and what if's...I had a few moments of struggle...But all I could hear in my heart was...."With all my heart, with all my mind, and all my soul, with all I know" over and over and over again. I would trust him with all of me...He knows my fears, but I know he loves and he is good. So whatever happened, I wanted to believe that and trust He would bring good and growth and that He would get glory out of it.

"I won't be afraid, I will face the wind. So let the winds blow, let the winds blow"

Whatever those winds were going to look like,
I wanted to be strong and FULL OF FAITH and HOPE!

NOT FEAR!

So today I went it to the surgeon for my consult for a biopsy since they discovered it was a solid mass. I was so ready for it all to be over so we could move on and not have this dark cloud of wonder hanging over us anymore. She informed us that it was indeed a solid mass but it was benign, nothing to worry about, no procedure or surgery needed.

Yay, God!!!

I was reminded of what God spoke to me, the prayers gone up for me, the unknown affect and healing that has come from them...

Through all of this I have persevered to find Him in it, believe what He says about me, about my future...He always, always, always answers us...

He knows us in and out. He is so faithful.

And His hope- NEVER disappoints.

Glory to Your Name Lord. You are worthy to be praised.

"...And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
Romans 5:2

Sink or Swim

This morning I felt like there was a war waging inside of me...

Peace vs. all the emotions raging within me...all the truth and promises of His goodness and faithfulness.

The days before I have had peace and was not consumed with these fears...but this morning it hit me like a very real tidal wave...I could almost see inside myself...watching the waves be tossed back and forth, a sloshing that is messy and splashes onto everything around it. It was sink or swim...but I kept coming back up, fighting for my air, fighting for who He says I am, what He says about me, what he says about my future... but I would sink with a thought of fear, the what if's, be pushed down under the water..... but then be reminded of His promises and I would swim back to the top...Gasp for more air, for peace, calmness, strength...

I love that no matter how many times we sink...he always gives us the strength to swim back to the top. He ALWAYS answers our cry for help. He ALWAYS answers! He never leaves us or forsakes us. Never!

He does not let us be overtaken by the waves if we call out to Him.

We always have a choice...we can choose to let our emotions overtake us or we can choose to cling to what He says about us and who He is, and claim His promises.

So right now, I choose to swim...not sink!

to be continued...

Bring me forth in Love

Listen Oh daughter
the King desires you..
Now Listen oh daughter
He wants to be with you
He longs for the day
when He makes all things new..
all things new..
He longs for the day..
He longs for the day..
when you allow Him to make all things new..
so listen oh daughters...
the King desires you.
so listen oh daughters..
the King desires you!

I say yes-
I say yes-
I say yes-
I want to be with you.
so I say yes-
I say yes
I say yes
I want to be with you.
I say yes-
I say yes-
I say yes-
I want to be with you.
I say yes-
I say yes-
I say yes-
I want to be with you.

Oh God I won't accuse you of being too difficult..
I won't accuse you of asking too much of me.
I won't accuse you...
for I know , I know, you know what moves my heart~
and I say yes.
I say yes..

I will go my own way...
to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of frankincense.
I will leave the past behind..
and how I failed, so so so many times..
but I l believe in your commitment to me.

I trust your promise more than I trust my own commitment to you..
I say it again, I say it again
I will go own my way
Yes, yes, yes.
I'll say yes.
I know that you will bring me to the end..
and I say yes

You are able to keep what I've committed to you
are able to bring me forth in love..
You are able to keep what I've committed to you
are able to bring me forth in love..
You are able to keep what I've committed to you
are able to bring me forth in love..
You are able to keep what I've committed to you
are able to bring me forth in love..

You are able- I trust you..
I trust your desire for me.
For your said it and I believe it.
For you've given me the spirit as a guarantee.

As I walk through the journey~
As I walk through the wilderness~
I know, I know, I know your gonna bring me into, into only You.
Though I fall I am not utterly cast out..
though I fall, He upholds me by His right hand
You are able to keep what I've committed to you
are able to bring me forth in love..
You are able to keep what I've committed to you
are able to bring me forth in love..

I believe it- so into your hands I commit my spirit..
I commit my way.. I commit everything..
For you have not left me alone, you have given me the help of the holy spirit.
I walk in the spirit day by day by day
I walk in the spirit...
show me the way, show me the way...

It's all about love, from beginning to the end...
For God is near to the brokenhearted..
He draws near to the humble,
anybody can come, anybody...

Creaking of a rusty gate...no, thanks!

1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)

1 Corinthians 13

The Way of Love

¹ If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. ²If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. ^3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.


^8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

Drink deep

You’re a mystery, wrapped in clouds~ shouting so loud..
just waiting to be discovered..
You’re a mystery~ so intriguing. You’re a mystery so inviting.

You saved Yourself for the weak, the humble, and the meek.
Only the hungry dine, only the thirsty drink deep.
You saved Yourself for the needy. You saved Yourself for me.

I want to waste my life to search You out~ search You out.
-misty edwards

~Joy~ springs in

Open up the doors-
of this heart of mine...
Dust off the cobwebs..
fix the broken walls
replace the shattered windows.
Recondition my heart.
Let your love pour in
I am not afraid..
You bring forth newness,
~joy~ springs in..
my rags are thrown off..

Looking at them on the floor
i now see they were chains..
but your love-
oh, it consumes me, frees me!

My arms are flung wide..
my heart- it waits in sponge form..
ready to soak you up!
drench me, drench me, ~DRENCH ME~
I cry out!

You cleanse my mind,
my eyes are opened..
Your hands, your blood
removes the blinders.
You are my healer.
You take my iniquities..
you cast them out.
Your spirit runs through me
making me ~whole~
from the inside out.
You lift my head..
and make beauty from my ashes.




Reveal yourself-
oh~ bridegroom~ of mine.

Job 8:21
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.

Psalm 16:11
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 90:14
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Psalm 94:19
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

~~~unfinished...doesn't really make sense...it's late and my thoughts are scattered...ill change it later~~

A little longer

I've had this song in my heart today...

What can I do for you
What can I bring to you
What kind of song would you like me to sing
'Cause I'll ~dance a dance~ for you
Pour out my love to you
What can I do for you ~~beautiful king~~
'Cause I can't thank you enough
'Cause I can't thank you enough

All of the words that I find
and I can't thank you enough
No matter how I try
and I can't thank you enough

Then hear you saying to me
Listen you, don't have to do a thing
Just simply be with me
and let those things go
'Cause they can wait another minute
Wait, this moment is too sweet
Would you please stay here here with me
And love on me a little longer

I hear you saying
You don't have to do a thing
Just simply be with me
and let those things go
'Cause they can wait another minute
Wait, this moment is too sweet
Would you please stay here here with me
And love on me a little longer

'cause I like to be with you a little longer

I love to be with you a little longer

'Cause I'm. in. love. with. you

I'm. in. love. with. you..

-jenn johnson