"Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.." James 1:19 3 things i need to work on...These 3 things will make me a better mother, wife, daughter, and friend... For an impatient, quick to assume, and easily upset person...this is vital. Lord, please imprint this into my head, heart, and mouth. I want to be a reflection of You..not a reflection of my own self, my feelings. Help me to die to self. To serve others wholeheartedly. As cheesy as it sounds...a local church had this on their reader board...and it was burned into my brain... "if people are not on your heart, they are probably on your nerves." simple words. but if we do not have the Father's heart...we will have the worlds temperament.

Before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139 For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. 1 O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. 5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens,you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. 19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! 20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord, and abhor those who rise up against you? 22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

In the middle of the night

I AM a mother who loves her children with her whole heart. I AM a woman who has been saved by God's amazing Grace. I AM a wife who has been given more than her dreams come true. ...but I am also sometimes a child on the inside who longs for Father to love on me and fill the deep holes of pain and yearning. to fill the gaping void left by the absence of an earthly father and a mother's love and acceptance. In the day's light, I can be the woman God has called me to be, I can be the mother who is present and selfless to her children, the wife who supports and adores her husband. But sometimes at night, my heart it yearns for a little more. "In the middle of the night, my heart it yearns.."

Sweeping Wind

When I sit at the end of my table...with the window open..I am perfectly positioned for the wind to sweep across me.

The wind gently flutters the curtains, the sunshine hits the floor, my feet sit flat on the hardwood floors...

Today is just a day when I need to feel the wind on my face. Somehow, i feel less alone and closer to my Father when the wind sweeps across me. I hear quiet whispers of his comfort and love in my ear as my hair is tossed back and forth by the warm spring wind. quiet whispers letting me know he IS with me. he hears my heart. he knows my thoughts..

After this long week of saying goodbyes, family strife, sleepless nights, and worry about my daughter...I have needed His presence in a tangible way. And for me, the wind blowing is that tangible way I can FEEL today.



"In the middle of the mess, there is majesty. In the middle of my chest, is the King of Kings. While the world (I)was waiting on, a change to come along, Light broke in..."
-"All this Glory" David Crowder Band.

"You revive me, Lord, and all my deserts are rivers of joy. You are the treasure, I could not afford. So I'll spend myself til I'm empty and poor. All for you, You revive me, Lord."
-"You revive me." - Christy Nockels